Your words hurt me like a knife going through my chest. As if you don’t know what you’re doing to me. Constantly telling me about how much weight I’ve gain, how much I need to lose it. You don’t realize how disgusted and hurt I am hearing from your own mother joking about your insecurities. Yet, she doesn’t stop. Only when she realizes what she did wrong as soon as tears roll down my face. That’s when she knew she went too far. As a mother, they’re suppose to comfort you no matter what. I love my mom so much but damn, realize what you say because it can affect your daughter in a huge way.
But I don’t crumble down just like that. My sister always have thought me to love and embrace myself. To always love who you are first before making any changes. To love my body, to love who I am. And from that point on, I can start making changes in a positive way rather than a negative way. Because of her, these comments that my mom makes just passes right through me.
I’ve been a daddy’s girl ever since the day I was born. My papa, ate, and I have this tight bond that we can’t even explain. He’s our number one man in our lives. It saddens me that he and also my mama have to work so hard just so we can have a decent life. Right now, he recently got hired to a part time job that he has been applying for, for a while. And starting tomorrow, he’ll be working at his other job. Which means he’ll be working two jobs everyday. Just right now, he left for his night shift. And before he even left, he gave me three kisses. And it makes me want to cry because I know deep down he’s tired. Overwhelmed. But he won’t admit it to us. He won’t admit that he’s tired that he needs a break. He’s doing this because he loves us. Because he wants to make me, my ate, and my mama happy. But the truth is, he already does makes us happy. Beyond happy. As I get older, I start to realize more stuff clearly. Things that I haven’t seen before. And I hope that one day, when I have a decent career that I can finally tell me papa and mama “Hey, it’s your turn to take a break. It’s mine and ate’s turn to take care of you guys. You did your job. Now it’s our turn.”
Okay well I never really post anything on here anymore but I wanted to say something before the New Year comes. I have to type this quickly cause I only have ten mins left before I leave. Haha. Well 2012, you’ve been a hell of a year. From all the bad shit you brought to the good things, I have to say everything was a blessing. When I look back at 2012, I made mistakes that I know it made me who I am today. There was a lot of crying, fights, etc. But I wouldn’t change any of that because it made me who I am now. I know I def lost people that I didn’t want to lose but I’ve gain people who I love and cherish. Everything change for the better and I know God has something better stored for me in the near future. Let’s leave 2012 with a bang, and begin 2013 with a prayer. Happy New Year folks! Remember, if you want 2013 to be your year, then make it your year. Be safe and party safe!
I just wanna say that I have one of ze best guy friend ever. Seriously, without him I would be emotionally unstable. Lol. Nigga understands me more than anyone I know. Venting out to him is never a blur and I’m thankful he’s there for me like he was tonight.
Great two days spent with my crazy cousins, my ate, and my Nanay and Tatay! I swear being with them keeps my mind off of things. Planning to sleepover my Nanay and Tatay’s house every weekend with my cousins and sister (:
Working 7 hour shifts is not the bidnesssss. I’m so glad I’m home now. asdfghjkl;
Movies with the fools tonight. Yaayayayayay. I haven’t had ‘chill’ time with the homies since I’m always busy -_______-
Sometimes I hate my name. Cause to me, it’s such a boys name.. But today at work, I had about five compliments on how pretty my name is. That made my day (:
I had about 5 compliments saying how good of customer service was and how I always greet them with a smile. Things like that takes the stress off my shoulders. Working may wear me out but nice people like them keeps me going. All I have to say is, I am HELLA bless to have a great job, friends, and family. I couldn’t ask for more.
Oh. And I got hit on today. LMAO
Our grandparents are better than yours. lol. Tomorrow is my Tatay’s birthday dinner! I can’t wait, family timmmeee.
Cleaning out my room and finding notes way back from middle school.. Damn, brings back so much memories.
When I look at you, I don’t see the same person anymore. What happened? I miss the old you. But nothing I nor anyone else can change you. I just want my bestfriend back.
I’m worried that all of the sudden we’ll just completely stop talking. I said this many times before and I’ll say it again. You’re one person I’m scared of leaving my life, leaving me as a friend. And I don’t want that to happen..